How to Know When It’s Time to Press Pause
- Pravin Vijay
- Jan 5, 2021
- 3 min read
Updated: Mar 13, 2021
We underestimated the power of pause. It can make or break relationships, opportunities and even life. A pause taken at the right time helps us to collect our thoughts, our energies, and be at our best. Ever decided to wait before you send that fuming text message to a loved one you are in a disagreement with? That's what I'm talking about here.
Pressing pause on life’s pressures
Who among us can avoid situations ranging from subtle to gross violence or anxiety, ranging from submissiveness to outright suicidal tendencies in our daily lives? Verbal abuse, unfair treatment and fear is such a daily reality in our offices, bedrooms, kitchens and streets, that we tend to ignore its vicious effect on our body-mind complex.
Unfortunately, no-one really gets trained at school or college, on when and how to care for our own wellbeing and centre oneself, instead we get pushed to perform and meet standards from day 1; - at school we’re under pressure to get the best marks, at work we’re chasing that next promotion, in life we’re trying to live up to model marriages, and please parents or friend circles. The need to meet standards and expectations are constant and relentless.
The dynamics of power
This violence or anxiety does not happen overnight. In every job situation, marriage, parent/child situation or in a friendship, the beginnings are always at least somewhat sweet and pleasant and there is a power dynamic that evolves; soon after it is clear who is superior and who is the inferior.
The needs of one party starts to be suppressed - simply because using force is the easiest way to make decisions and get things done. Democratic discussions are slow, time consuming and takes a lot of inner strength, energy and patience - who has the time in this modern world for that? Here is where the power of pause is relevant.
The power of pause
The solution is not too hard, there is a neutral ground in between the charm and the fear and the drama, and that is the space where we sometimes consciously or unconsciously take "time out" and go on holidays or end up in hospitals, albeit forcefully! It usually refreshes us by giving us a completely new, neutral and balanced view of the whole situation and helps us to do the right thing, in spite of the fear we experience or anger we need to let out.
It’s important to take planned pauses often and consistently. We want to see more voluntary pauses and less involuntary pauses (emotional breakdowns, sudden inexplicable health conditions, depression).
As we’ve established, we can feel like we’re tossed around like a football from one life situation to another, never really getting a chance to become aware of our own true self or situation. Giving ourselves the time and space for reflection will teach us to be mindful of our emotions, behaviours, and relationships, thus building lasting self-confidence and self worth.
Try this at home..
Find an appropriate time in the day; maybe before going into a meeting, or before making breakfast, give yourself a pause of 2 minutes. Breathe deeply and slowly and collect your thoughts and centre yourself so you have the space to acknowledge your feelings. Create space by clearing the mind of everything, breathe in life’s inspiration (this is personal to you, such as a role model, a happy moment in your life or that one thing that keeps you grounded). And breathe out any pain or anxiety you are carrying - with a loud sigh of Ahh…
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